All Is For His Glory

I'm a piano player. I play for 3 hours on Tuesdays. I sometimes play on weekends. Not to mention practice times and making loops in between those. Recently, I had to undergo surgery on my right wrist because I had a ganglion cyst in it. Gross, right? The point of me telling the following story is because of everything I had to learn through it that I feel a lot of other people deal with too.

I suffered with the pain and the slight bump when I bent my wrist for about 4 months. In those months, I prayed. I prayed it would go away. I prayed for God's healing to shrink it. I had other people lay hands on it and pray it would go away. I tried having it drained by the doctor with a needle (again, gross, right?), but I don't think it ever even left let alone "came back." I wondered a lot through this time.
-"Why won't God heal me?"
-"Is there something I'm doing that's not allowing Him to heal me?"
-"Is there a deeper seeded issue that it's connected to that I need to deal with before it will go away?"
-"Do I just not have enough faith?"
I even set a reminder on my calendar to remind me to pray every day for 30 days for it because someone told me that was the way God would heal me. 30 days later, still no healing. I had our healing pastor Ben pray for it. Nothing. I went up for prayer from our healing team during a worship service. Nothing.

I decided to set up an appointment for surgery a week before Thanksgiving because I really was tired of dealing with it and felt a peace about it. The week before my surgery more people touched and prayed over it truly believing that it would be gone before my surgery. I wasn't unbelieving, but I wasn't shuddering at the idea of still having the surgery either. No matter what way it was going, as long as it was gone that was good enough for me. But, my surgery day came, and it was still there.

Someone had told me that maybe I was supposed to come in contact with the doctor for a reason the Lord had set up. I was all for that. I kept thinking that the whole time. Never really was there an opportunity to share anything with him or the nurses, but I was consciously courteous (even when they had to stick me twice in each hand cause they couldn't get my vain). I'm pretty shy when it comes to straight up telling someone about Jesus out of the blue, especially when they're about to cut me open.

I had the surgery. I came out of surgery. Everything went fine.

I went home, and, for the next couple of days, I was basically useless. Something I hadn't thought about before the surgery was how I wouldn't be able to use my right hand AT ALL for a while. I couldn't shower very well, my mom had to brush my hair, and I couldn't even zip up my own jeans. It was frustrating. But, as I went to sleep one night, I thought about my cousin, Allison. She's 12. She had a stroke in the womb before she was born. Because of that, she has almost no use of her right hand and it isn't growing as properly as the other one. Having been through a couple of days what she's been through her whole life, I was moved entirely to pray on her behalf.

The incision was healing. I was gaining more mobility of my hand. Then, I noticed some white, got scared, and ran up to show my mom. She kinda freaked me out and made me think it was getting infected, but I had to go in to see the doctor for my two week stitch removal soon anyway. We made the long trek out to his other office, he assured me that it wasn't infected, and cut the stitches sticking out of the sides. Before we left, my mom gave him a copy of my cd "Come With Me" to which he replied, "Now I have something to listen to on my way back." We were all about 50 minutes away from home.

Now, it's still healing up. I can't move it all the way yet, but I can shower, brush my own hair, and zip up my zipper (Woot!!). The doctor said I'd have 95% mobility in 6 weeks. The incision is looking good, I'm not wearing any band aids, and I haven't been using the wrist brace anymore.

Here's what I don't know: I don't know why God didn't just heal my wrist.

But here's what I do know: The cyst is gone. The surgery went well. I barely had ANY pain. I haven't had any infection. The incision looks good. And BECAUSE He didn't, I was awoken to someone else's pain to pray for them and had the opportunity to share Jesus with my doctor through my music.

I could sit and try to question why things happen the way they do or why He doesn't bend to my will. But at the end of the day, God is still God. He still knows what He's doing. His ways are higher, and His purposes are better.

We may not have all the answers all the time, and everything may not happen the way we wish it did. Sometimes God's plans are bigger than what we can see. The things we see as bad He uses for good. All is for His glory, and we are simply blessed to have a part in it.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Ariel